spring semester

So today struck an odd feeling in me. I am four classes away from graduation. weird. My morning class was canceled so i got the opportunity to hang out with Don, Nate and D Wag who came to promote the camp. At lunch i had to leave to a class I'm a teacher aide for and was saying goodbye to the guys and Don asked when we'd see each other again. Then D Wag says, "maybe we'll get to come to your graduation." At that moment it hit me that this was my last semester at S.A.U. :0). It's weird to think that after a few months I'll be done here and will be moving onto student teaching! I love this place but am so excited to graduate and start the next part of my life.

J term is over and that is a sad day because it was restful and i miss it already :0).

camp and stuff

So i am exhausted and about to lay down again but i thought i'd update you on life happenings.

Last Undergraduate Semster:
Spring is starting soon and i am excited to embark on my last semester as an undergrad but at the same time i absolutely love my free time and pleasure reading. I've been reading a lot about purposeful marriage and it's really gotten my heart opened to the idea of somewhere down the road being married. I'm not saying in a few months but years down the road. I'm a complicated being, after all!


The Future *dun dun dun dun*
I had my student teacher interview and we are looking for placements in the Cadillac area. If you are unaware Cadillac is where camp is located. I have been talking to my director about my homelife and how i need to be on my own and going home isn't an option. He said that if i got placed in the area for student teaching that we'd figure out housing. In my interview he said it's be a stretch but we'd see what we can do! woo hoo! If not i'll be in spring arbor living with someone, anyone who will take in a stray ;0). I'm excited to see where God takes me. I'm even more excited to be living somewhere where close by (either camp or school) I have a famiy of believers there.


My name's Kris and I'm addicted to CAMP
This weekend i went to camp to volunteer for a retreat. Initially i wasn't planning on going but Casey mentioned going and i asked if i could get a ride and it worked out. I am so glad i went. It was a mini reunion with around 10 summer staff, not to mention another 10 or so who were campers and another 5 who hung out during the day. Friday night i stayed up until 3 am talking to Lauren about home and then Saturday went to bed at 3:30am cause i was hanging with the guys and talking about what it would be like if Jesus worked at camp. Highly entertaining conversation especially having it so late at night :0). Camp truly has become so much more than a summer hang out or job. It is a family for me. Each time i come back my boss says "Welcome Home" and i get a feeling like it truly is home for me. Even with all my years at SAU it's never felt like home but a place to be productive, i have made many friends and i love to serve here but camp is like home and i love being there.


Well sleep needs to happen, i think i finally got my fever to go down...i really need to work tomorrow as it's my last day for j term :)

Good times.


Kris

I write a lot...happy 50th post!

I have had tons of time lately to sit and think. This can be good and bad- good because there are things I need to work on and bad because I don't want to dwell on it too much. God has been working on me and i have come to various conclusions.

1. Life is a mystery and i would have it no other way. I like that my life is in God's hands and that i have no idea what each day holds. Yes i know the classes and meetings i have but i don't know all that happenings each day which work together to fulfill what God wants for my life.

2. God has built me strong but he is still in construction. It seems that once i've learned to be content with life happenings something happens to remind me that i am still a work in progress. God will be working on me all my life but the important thing is that he will never give up and that each time i learn something about Him and myself and become stronger and closer to Him. All in all these are worth it in the end. God is amazing and i am humbled everyday that he would take an interest in my life.

3. I am starting my last semester of college and right now the only emotion tied to that is excitement. I know that once it gets closer I will start to feel sad and know how much I'll miss this place but for now I'm going to work each day to finish my college career as strong as possible. I have worked long and hard for this and am so excited to see where it takes me.

4. I am truly loving life. There are lows and that's a reality. I am surrounded by people who truly care about me and am growing in my relationship with Jesus. I am getting really pumped for my missions trip to Mexico and as the time gets closer my heart is started to break for the people in Mexico i will be working with and meeting while there working.

Seriously, last week was very tough for me however i am just loving life. I am content with how life is going and am excited for the things ahead for me. I am learning to let go of things and to step away from over analyzing and see things at face value.

these are my thoughts.
Kris

my hilarious computer...

My computer caught a virus and has been freaking out. The guy who works in the computer technology services gave me a website and apparently it won't load on my computer. I was trying to delete some programs and unplugged my computer from the internet. I decided to try to watch a movie on my computer and after about twenty minutes or so my computer fast forwarded to the end of the movie and the movie player closed. If that wasn't weird enough my iTunes opened and then i closed it and as i was walking away to get something from the kitchen i heard something coming from my computer i came in hearing quite loudly that my computer was playing the song "Undignified" and i just starred at my computer with nothing opened and laughed. I had to laugh, it's such an amazing experience. I mean of all the songs to be played it was a christian song. I have needed a laugh and the week has thrown me some curve balls. I laughed pretty hard and heard myself utter, "Thank you JESUS, thank you. Just thank you!"

I am headed up to camp on Friday and i am so excited. I really miss my friends and family!

Kris

it's raining, it's pouring...

I have been pretty low for the last few days. I have been praying for the truth to be revealed and when it did it wasn't very pretty and was extremely hard to swallow but it was the truth. It had been obvious that i had exchanged the truth for a lie and need to adjust my life accordingly, it's sucks but it is what it is. Today was better i was getting used to this and then home called *sigh* Initially they called because my brother couldn't find a PS2 game and thought i swiped it. I ended up finding out that my mom moved back in with her boyfriend. Let me explain that this is not a happy reunion. In fact my stomach turned when my brother told me and then when shock turned to denial handed off the phone to my sister to confirm. This is the guy who emotionally and verbally abused me for seven years and who drove me to counseling because i was so low on myself, this is who my mother is choosing to live with. If that weren't enough they moved over a week ago. According to my sister it never occurred to call me and tell me what was going on, she just figured i'd find out eventually.

So here i am socked, hurt and angry. I am unsure of how to feel. No wonder i am so freaked out when it comes to relationships, look at the example put before me. I had some time to mull it over and i think i'm okay with it. I am dissapointed that my mom felt that her loneliness was worth living with a man who on several occasions has openly admitted to dispising her daughter. According to my sister everything is going well he's off drugs, not yelling and they are doing well. In my heart i know that this "okay" is not going to last long and they will be right back where they were. My mom knows how i feel about him and knows i cannot subject myself to that abuse any longer.

Sorry for being such a downer. I know God has this all worked out and that he is teaching me through this, maybe the lesson is that i need to find someone who treats me as God has deemed that i deserve: a lesson learned from the past!

God Date...

So yesterday i was in the crummiest of moods. I talked to Mike Carpenter for awhile and came to the realization i needed some quality time with God. I had the apartment to myself so I took out the time to spend time with the one who holds me heart. So i worshiped, read, journaled, prayed and listening and listened some more. There were tears and many of them. After spending three weeks in a two bedroom trailer with nine others time alone and with my savior was amazing and needed. My heart has been heavy with a few different things which are going on with me. I most definitely needed to let go of something and was probably in the crummy mood because i knew that. Afterward i felt much better and i knew that my decision was wise and am grateful to have such an intense savior to serve. He is so much more than i deserve.

Today Laura picked me up and we braved the storm to Jackson. It was quality time and I appreciated it. I can tell her things I cannot tell many people so we talked about my decision. It was nice to talk to someone who knows me very well. I miss that.

Thursday two great things happened. One was the safe return of Nate, Kait and Rachel and i was thankful. The second was that Mike Carpenter came to Spring Arbor so i took the liberty of rounding up the Arborites to hang out. It started out with Mel, Bethany, Laura, Wook, Casey, Sarah, Eric and myself. Then Mel, Bethany, Eric and Sarah left and the rest of us sat around and talked. We decided that we would go to Wook's and then meet Chuck and Cassies for 1/2 off appetizers. We had such a blast and i don't think i've laughed that hard in a long time. It was a great time.

looking back

So i just got done with a survey looking back to 2008! In doing this i decided to look back at some livejournal entries i wrote and i truly haven't changed too much. I've learned to trust God more deeply and i have fallen more in love with him. I have learned a lot more about myself. So the two topics i journaled about to start 2008 were why singleness was looked down upon and affording college. Still things i am working on. I could go on a rant about the joy of singlehood but i don't feel that i need to. I am content where i am but in a "I could stay single or be in a relationship". I could go into it but i won't right now. I am happy where i am. I'll leave it at that.

Kris

two things!

so i am so excited to be back. I got around for work today only to discover that the school was closed due to snow. At first i was bummed but then i got online and STO was online and then i got a phone call and ended babysitting and making immediate money. I love my tutoring job but money on the spot is rather sweeeeet. So all in all it worked out. I have been so tired so i might go to bed earlier tonight. Okay my two things.

1. Today i was babysitting and usually we watch a movie but today we played games. I played Trouble, Scene It (Disney), Racko and Chutes and Ladder. When Bethy woke from her nap her older sister played online games and we played Chutes and Ladder. I kid you not this game lasted nearly a hour. Every time one of us would get up to the top we would run into one of that nasty chutes. I forgot how much board games can be. Good times.

2. Tonight while i was eating my dinner i was flipping through the channels and i landed on the news. Now lately i haven't watch it because it's been depressing but this made me laugh really hard and i had to blog about it. They were reporting about the gas prices and the anchorman says this, "Raising gas prices has gotten a lot of complaints today and another note is that the lottery tickets are still being sold at every gas station" OK, how do you not laugh at that? I mean he might as well as said if you want to afford gas there's always the chance of winning the lotto! I thought it was hilarious. I'm sure it wasn't intentional but it was amazing :)

That's my thoughts. Well not all of them but the ones i feel comfortable telling the world wide web :0)
Kris