some thoughts

I have been doing a lot of thinking about the future, this summer, graduation. My heart stirs for something more than Spring Arbor. More than books, papers, iPods and dare i say it *gasp* facebook. I have been praying about opportunities out there to teach internationally. There is something in my soul that loves to serve other in other countries. Many see me as anti-american and maybe i am, not sure. I do laugh when i hear people referring to America as the greatest country in the world and like to ask them if they have visited other countries to base such a large statement on. I've only been in two countries other than America and i sorely disagree with said statement. Anyway back from the bunny trail i am hoping that God will answer some questions when i return to Mexico in thirteen days (woot woot) and i am so excited to serve his people down there. I dont know how explain it but there is something spirtually and fulfilling serving those you cannot speak to because you truly see that love is not spoken in English, it has no language barrier. How cool is that? Seriously everyone should experience that! I was not built to be comfortable and stable and maybe that means i should travel the world teaching children and loving on people, i dont know.

Currently i'm reading Wild At Heart and Captivating By John (& Staci) Eldredge. For one of the small groups i'm in we are reading both and comparing them and discussing them as a group of mature Christian men and women. Tomorrow is the first time we'll be sharing and meeting. I am excited. In reading the books i find it somewhat disturbing that i identify with the guys...not to say i don't dream of my wedding or that that prince will persue me. However i much rather venture into the woods or to some exotic place...maybe that's me being "not your average girl" i don't know.

So Monday morning ends my facebook fast. I was going to fast lunches but the day after got the worst cold i've had in a long time and decided that being sick and depriving myself of nutrition probably wasn't all that wise. I find that 99% of my e-mails are from facebook. I found myself going there in habit of checking e-mails but never signed in. I have prayed a lot and each time i got an email from facebook or thought about facebook. I can't say i have missed facebook, it was almost one less thing to worry about this last week. Today i was in Alltel and the guy was trying to sell a blackberry phone and he said the follow, no joke: "You can go on the internet and check your facebook, you have one don't you?" Seriously, when you say the internet facebook is the first that comes to mind, really?

Lastly i've stumbled upon Barlow Girls, not literally although that would be pretty amazing. Ha! You ever have those bands in your iTunes and it take a long to time to listen to them again, well if not it happens to me. I used to make my jr. high campers listen to a few songs about self image and lately i've found myself loving their lyrics. so great.

the end or as Strongbad says "It's Over"

fasting and praying

In 17 days i am heading to Mexico for my spring break missions trip. To be honest i haven't put much thought into the trip with my semester starting and me hitting the ground running and all. Last night we paused and discussed preparing our hearts through fasting and praying. In praying i asked not what i could give but what i should give. Not what i want to give but what i need to give. Facebook was the one that came first. Now not to say this will be easy but it can be something i give up and during my usual facebook time i would do homework and that truly isn't the purpose of a fast so to accompany my facebook fast i am also fasting lunches. Each time i think about eating or it is my lunch time i will pray and focus on my trip. It is day one of my lunch fasting and i have prayed a lot. I dont think we as Americans know what real hunger is. I know that is unwise and unhealthy to give up food in general which is why i gave up my lunches. Another reason i choose lunch is that is my social meal. I can sit in my apartment skipping dinner and work on homework and not think about it but lunch is a specific time i sit with friends and talk about life, etc. Not eating then will remind me why i'm fasting and thus give me opportunities to pray. Also when my stomach growls from hunger i can be reminded of those who don't get three meals a day and to pray for them as well.

I am excited to see what God has to show me this week through this and in preparing my heart for being served and serving in Obregon, Mexico.

I love to travel and my heart is full of so much joy, excitement yet preparing to be broken for Jesus once again while there.

Kris.

25 and content

The last few days have been so amazing. I have been so blessed by so many people. I have been reflecting over the last few days about my life: how far i've come, where i'm going...but before i go into that let me tell you how my birthday and post-birthday was.

Birthday: now if a flooded wall on facebook wasn't enough i had such a great birthday. I woke up to find a candy bar and a birthday banner in my kitchen left by the one and only roommate o mine! I recieved a bday poem on the door from Betsy and got a ton of birthday greetings on campus and during the class I am a T.A. a group of student leaders and faculty sang to me :0) Then Casey Butler got me the best gift ever, DAVID CROWDER BAND :0). I went into town before the concert and got the mP3 player and Wall-e i ordered with the giftcard dad sent me. Yea! The concert was oh so amazing. The first hour or the doors being openend i worked the concession stand for Mexico and had tons of people stop by to say happy birthday. After the sweet awesome concert I headed back to my apartment to find five birthday voicemails on my phone and had ten people over for cake. No joke it was fun and crazy. After stumbling upon Carpenter and other GR "friends" lies that became the joke and conversation peice all night. After a few had left Mel stopped by and handed me a hand made card that had Crowder's signature in it with a birthday message to me. So cool. Everyone went home and i did dishes and crashed. Oh and in between all these great time i got an email that said there's a great possibility that i will be living at camp after i graduate. There a few details to work out but it sounds promosing and i am so excited to see how that pans out.

Post-Birthday: I had a three girls who used to live on Alpha 2 with me yesterday stop by with pizza, cheesy bread, salad and even carrots and we had another birthday celebration. We played scum (they called it jerk) and it was a blast. We laughed, ate, played card...so great.

Reflections: I have come a long way in 25 years. I have come to know the love of Christ and have become his servant instead of thinking that i am here to be served i know i am here to serve. I have authentic and genuine friends. People who love and will be there for me regardless of what life throws my way. I have been given the gift of a college education and the passion and love for teaching children most are annnoyed with. I have also been a part of a christian community. Before SAU the only christians i knew were from church. I know what it looks like to live your faith daily and what to strive to become one day. I have worked at camp where i have such great friends who are in love with Jesus and understand me better than most people in my life.

I am so excited to see where God takes me. Take a look at the subject it's true. I am content and 25. One of my friends was picking on me today and was like "how are you 25 and single?" I laughed and said "By God's grace." It's no mistake that i'm single. God has been doing work in me so that i can bless my future relationship in using all that i've gained in my past and even lately in my life. I am happy with life and cannot wait to see what's around the corner.

Kris

short and sweet

I am dang tired for Monday is rediculously long this semester so i'm just gonna say something:

I am turning 25 in two days and i have to say that i feel blessed. God has given me so much and taught me so much. I am content and more in love with Christ then ever before. I am truly and authentically happy where i am. Completely content with where God has me right now.

God is good and he has blessed with with fantastic friends like you. I love you.

single, birthday and weekend!

Single but not diseased
So lately i have been getting so much pressure to date or dish on who i like. Okay so i realize that Wookie's birthday is this weekend which also happens to be national Hallmark buy-someone-you-love-something-because-we-say-so (aka Valentines Day). I get that this is supposed to be a time to talk about your feelings and whatever. I am tired of defending myself for being single. It's not a disease, chronic or otherwise, i don't have the symptoms for loneliness, depression or feeling all alone. For the very first time i am extremely happy with who i am. I say this not to say i am planning on being a singleton forever just to say that i am happy where i am. I'm in a good place. If something were to happen where i would start a relationship/courtship (or whatever you kids are calling it now days) i would be okay with that. I am content and content at the idea of change. Sound confusing but it's true.

Birthdays
So i am turning 25 in six days or something like that. I am excited not only for my birthday but that i get to see David Crowder and hang out with some friends :0). Yea, I'm pretty dang excited about that. I'm not one who is huge into my birthday because I'm not one for the spotlight i like things like back stage, copier room and sound board where you don't get the spotlight yet you serve. That's me. I'm not sit in the middle of the stage and talk you pretty much guarantee that most of the day on my birthday I'll be red in face from embarrassment. When i used to eat in the dc my friends would bring in a cake and the whole place would sing to me and my friends would comment every year on what shade of pink I'd be. true story.

El Weekend
This weekend i am a busy bee which is appropriate with the semester i've been in. I actually am about three days ahead just so i can stay afloat next week. Before i go into my weekend let me just say that i run from Monday at 10am until Tuesday at 8:30pm i have about four hours where i do homework for the next days. It's crazy. Anyways back to this weekend. Tonight I'm going to Kalamazoo with Bekah. We are going to a h.s. basketball game and then tomorrow bridesmaid shopping and then looking at floral shops i am so excited. I love going home with her! Then tommorrow night after our return to SAU (Wookie's birthday...wooot) Michelle, Laura, hopefully Wookie and myself will get together and celebrate our birthdays! We tend to get together and celebrate Wook and my birthday all in one night. It's always a good time. I'm excited to see them :0) I haven't had much time for friends lately unless it's on the computer but it's just not the same!

ok well i need to finish packing so i can leave!
Have a great weekend friends!

update time i suppose...

The last week has been a blurr a long exhausting blurr. I hope it's not a preview of what my last semester will be like only time will tell! My worst day is Monday so don't be too shocked if i am on long enough to check e-mail on that day! I have four classes but they are the last classes in my major and minors so they are tedious and will be keeping me busy up until Graduation! I'm also a t.a. (for a class which is for the future student leaders), am involved in three small groups and on a spring break mission team. It was nice knowing you...just kidding. Let's just say that being bored is a thing of the past! I feel like i'm constantly running somewhere so when i get back to the apartment and have to open those books all i want to do is crash on my bed. However i have set some goals for myself this semester to keep me disciplined and those are going well so far. I get up earlier than i have to and give God at least the first half hour of my day although most days it ends up being an hour :0) I am enjoying it a lot.

Well this weekend was adventerous and a good time. Friday Bekah and I went into town for some much needed groceries and then later that night we had roommie family feud night. It was a great time :) We download a free trial of family feud and we get pretty into it. it's a great time. Then we chat it up while watching tv online or tv on dvd :):):)

On Saturday we traveled to a wedding and got so lost that we missed the ceremony but made it just in time for the reception. It was a bit of a drag to miss the ceremony but she understood. I saw pictures and they did a foot washing ceremony where they both participated and that's something i think is so incredible. The conversation in the car was interesting and most of the time i was debating with the only boy present about my beliefs with male initiation. He thinks i need to be more obvious to boys and i disagreed openly. It was interesting, to say the least.

i thought this was hilarious. enjoy please.

well i hope life is well and know that although i am busy i do love you.
all of you.
even you.
Kris

my soapbox

I am going to go on a soapbox and you can agree, disagree, or discontinue reading or whatever but this is something that truly bothers me beyond unorganized teachers.

Today we had a chapel speaker. I usually cut them a break because it's hard to speak in front of at least 1,000 students: i get nervous in front of a peer group of 20 or so. However today i was just ticked right off. The speaker came up and starting talking about his struggles growing up and being in college. Then he made statements of blindness such as "People at my college struggled with drugs and alcohol but i know that isn't an area of concern on this campus" and "I can see that everyone just loves Jesus here". Okay let's take one statement at a time.

*Stepping onto the soapbox*
People at SAU don't have a problem with drugs or alcohol
Okay let's remind ourselves of Genesis and how we are a fallen world. Christian or not we have sinners at our school. We are not safe from addiction and cycles of way wrong choice. We've had students in abusive relationships, drinking problems, drug addictions, issues in pornography. I do understand that it's a Christian institution but what Christian institution doesn't have sinners who go there. One things that i love about my school is that we recognize there are struggling students. We have things put in place to help people with addictions however to dismiss it and to pretend like our struggles are only time management and to find a spouse is absolutely rediculous.

Everyone loves Jesus here
Okay once again we are a Christian school and yes i get that. First of all there is a difference between loving Jesus and being a Christian. It's sad but true. I was a Christian for five years before i understood what it meant to truly love Jesus and to be in love with him enough to change my life to what he wanted for me. It was difficult, lonely and emotionally wearing but i would do it all over again because i know that in the long run God is faithful and knows what's best for me. Secondly not everyone comes here because they love Jesus and def. most of the people in chapel wouldn't go if they didn't have to.

*stepping off soap box*

I absolutely love chapel but if it were a choice i would probably be sitting in my room typing up papers, reading chapters or heck sleeping! I'm being honest, i love chapel and through it God has taught me the importance of having a mind of your own and really diving into the scriptures the speaker gives out and seeing for yourself. I am blessed by chapel, truly.

Those are my thoughts. Feel free to disagree...
Kris