tooth update!

So i went to the dentist and here's the deal: i had a root canal done on a tooth about five years ago. Apparently on Monday an infections surfaced at the bottom of the tooth and spread. This caused severe pain and swelling of the left side of my face. He told me my options were to pull it or see a specialist. I looked at him in extreme pain and said "i'd rather just pull it". The tooth was so bad it had to be sawed in half and pulled in two parts. Rediculous. He precribed me vicadin, yea :0), and told me that icing the jaw and taking the pain meds will help the swelling. I left feeling pretty good but when the novicane wore off...OUCH. With the help of ice, vicadin and orajel i am feeling oh so much better.

that's my tooth update. It is gone and the sad part is that there will be no tooth fairy giving me a quarter just a pain free mouth. To be honest, the tooth fairy can keep her money and i'll enjoy my pain free mouth and enjoy getting on with my life.

Now it's all camp and i am excited and a little drowsy, just saying.
I am pumped for sleep tonight since in the last 36 hours i've slept a total of 6 hours. Yea sleep.

Night,
Kris

ouch!

For the last few days i've had a toothache. It started being annoying and i'd take some ibuprofen and ambosol and it relieved it for a while. Then it began to throb in pain and i added icing my jaw to the mix. Then last night the left side of my face began to swell and was throbbing in pain. Oh so much fun. Soon i am heading into Cadillac to see a dentist about said tooth and the infections spreading throughout the left side of my face. I can say that this is probably the worst pain I've felt in a very long time. It may even be worse then when i broke my arm. maybe. I will be excited to have the tooth gone and more excited about pain medication. for real.

In other news i'm at camp and am loving it. I feel like i could have gotten much more accomplished but this tooth issue got in the way. Oh well, what can you do? It's been great to hang out with the group though.

Kris

ONE WEEK!!!!!

Today marks one week until i am an offical college graduate! It is hard to describe how that feels. There are a variey of feelings with it. Relief, excitement, apprehension, anxiousness, joy, fear...just to name a few. As much as i am the first to run away from comfort: this is my comfort. Running minstries, taking classes and working part time. Seeing all of my friends in one place and knowing that each night i had a place to run and talk to Bekah about anything going on in my life. College has brought me tears, laughter, confusion, and some of the greatest relationship i'll ever know. I have been so blessed but i know the blessings are far from over.

I'm sure many graduates fight between loving the time we have here but wanting to move on. Honestly, i cannot afford to cling on to this comfort zone any more :0). I am so excited for what the future has for me. Living at camp, student teaching and eventually finding a job. But before all of that i have another week with friends here and then a week with my family and let's not forget....CAMP!!!!!!!!

I am excited yet neverous. One week, it'll fly i just know it.
Good luck on whatever you have to do! :0)

The Graduate (in 7 days)

my thoughts...

I AM GRADUATING IN TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY!!!!!!

things are better...

It seems to be lately that when i see those closest to me doing well i feel better. Not to say that my happiness comes from other people but it makes me feel better. Like i look past myself, cause it's not all about me, and be joyous for what God is doing in other people's lives. I like this, a lot.

Things for me are looking up. I met with my professor and never actually discussed my assignment but literally talked about the story of my life. Which is funny since one of my most said lines is "story of my life"...she wanted to know me and where i came from, why i choose Special Education, where i was going from SAU, etc. We are meeting again this next week, so we'll see. She was extremely encouraging and that really helped.

I am learning a lot from God lately. I have been reading through Hebrews and he is teaching me so many things, i thought i knew before but now in the tirals i'm going through mean so much more. He is so good.

I'm going to leave you with a song that God always brings to me when i'm going through a hard time....
Kris

----------------------------------------
How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that helf Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I knoww that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast inJesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
(REPEAT)

Just what the doctor ordered...

I am so glad i got to go to camp this weekend. It was just the break i wanted and needed. It was a chance to be at one of my favorite places on earth, around a few of my favorite people on earth and just to relax. Now i didn't sleep the whole time, in fact i'm sure this is the shortest amount of sleep i'd gotten all semester but i loved it. I got to be at something i didn't have to plan or run...and that doens't happen at school. Pretty much everything is a meeting i host, a bible study i run or an event i either run or am running with two others. It was nice to help out and not have to do all the work. On Friday i got to do one of my all-time favorite things at camp: star gaze on the soccer field and i saw THREE shooting stars. Which is amazing because usually i can never see them. Wookie and i went and just looked at the stars and talked. As crazy as it sounds it's been a while since we've had one of our chats like that.

This weekend i laughed and laughed. Which i'm learning is extremely good for you :0) Also although i'm not sure how much the boys appreciated it i got a guest cabin to myself. Although it was slightly creepy because it was really quiet, i loved it. I loved just getting some me time in before calling it a day and taking as much time as i needed in the morning was fantastic! This weekend was great, a way to recharge and renew. However it also made me want to be there so badly, i'd give anything to just fast forward and be at camp however i have much to do until then and will focus on that. Yea, for almost being done here! Double yea!

Jesus is good and has a reason and purpose to show me in my last four weeks at SAU, I'm ready to learn and see what HE wants me to.

a new perspective...

This weekend was pretty huge for me. I went home for the first time since Christmas and for the first time in a LONG time i was genuinely excited about going home. This didn't occur over night but over time. It started because i was in Mexico praying about being a missionary down the road and how i wanted a close family and how it broke my heart not to have one. When i got back to school i intentionally called my family just because and i could see how it affected them and they appreciated it. Before i left i prayed about how inadequate i felt being called into missions when i had such a rough upbringing. God called me out and said not only was my family my mission field but they were the stepping stone to those I'd minister to later on in life.

Going home with the mindset that it was where God wanted me to be and that each moment was precious and could eternal rewards was just what i needed. I came with the heart to serve, an ear to listen, and a spirit willing for anything. I left my "woe is me attitude" and it was great. I had meaningful conversations and told my family how much they mean to me. I even got a chance to catch up with an old high school friend who has made some decisions i don't agree with but could share my faith and how that influences things such as choices about sex, education and the future. I never shoved my beliefs on anyone but just gave my point of view.

my "WOAH" moment with God

So many of you know the story of my home life but if you don't I'll lay it out for you:

I am from a shattered home. It's not broken because it's so far gone and past that. My mom currently lives with her boyfriend who blantly hates me and lets everyone know it. My brother and his girlfriend and their three kids live in a two bedroom trailer with my sister and her 3 year old. We all went to church together when i was in junior high. Unfortunately our family has been through a lot and i was the only stubborn one to see it through. I decided to grab a hold of God and everyone else decided to pack it up and run from God.

So during spring break i was sitting in Mexico people watching to discover that they had something i didn't- a close family unit. I want that so badly. All i wanted to do was to go home and serve my family. To serve them with no questions asked because it's what i love to do. So i decided that for Easter break i was not going to sit in my apartment and catch up on homework or get a head start on final projects but i would go home. My mom was thrilled at the news and supprisingly my brother even offered to pick me up, surprising because usually his response is to ask if i can pitch in for gas which i never mind doing. He's just so excited that i'm coming home i guess. Well for the last few Sundays God has been breaking my heart for my family.

In church i was talking to God before partaking in communion. We had the following conversation, this is the Kris Locker version of course!

He was breaking me for my family and i asked, "God how can you expect me to minister to people in other countries if i cannot even shed light to my family" and God in his strong and loving voice said, "Seriously Kris? Let me ask you this: what is a missions field?" I answered "Somewhere that needs the saving message of Christ. WOAH." God replied "Yep, you finally are getting it" I started to cry and said "You mean my missions field IS home? All this time i've wondered if i wanted to go into missions and there it was right in front of me. I think this is the one time when the missionary actually started going to chruch as the same time as those in their mission field"

So although it's something I've known, it was revealed to me again. My family is my mission field. I have invested in their lives and love them so deeply. They will always be my mission field regardless of where i am or what i'm doing. I have a tie to them and will continue to serve them and be their light until the day they too hear from God and decide to listen.

we serve such an amazing God!

Mexico was muy bueno!

I went to Mexico and it was so amazing. God showed up in so many unexpected ways. Let me say first off that i cried more during this trip than i have cried ever before. On the way as i was praying for those in Mexico that i would serve and would serve me i became overwhelmed with the idea of the body and Christ and how easily i had lost touch of the body of Christ and God revealed to me that he was going to do some huge things in me. He showed up the minute i was in Mexico. I joked with some of the girls that i am convinced God speaks Japanese/Spanish because i hear him clearer when i am in Mexico or Japan. Here i am unsure of what he wants me to do because i get so wrapped up in myself and technology, etc. We got to the church and the whole church was beaming with joy and clapping as we walked in they all hugged us and welcomed us to Mexico. It was overwhelming and i cried not a lot but enough. They had so much love even before they knew us and they were full of the love of Christ. We went to check out the work site and then they fed us at our "eating house" a block away. After dinner of chicken tacos a few college age guys played guitar and then handed it off to one of our guys and they took turns playing worship songs. It was great.

A few things about Mexican culture. I'm sure you've heard of "Mexican time" i love this concept. Just in case you haven't they work at their own pace. We never ate at the same time except for breakfast. We would work until we got what we wanted to get done accomplished then we'd eat lunch and sit around and enjoy each other's company and rest for 30-45min. then go back to work until we got enough done or the light was gone. Two things i will take back about their culture is that they are relational and appreciative. In church they are grateful for things such as: God providing food that week, their child no longer being sick because they don't have a doctor or even that they had the strength to walk to church. They love to be around each other they spend a lot of their time around one another and talking and investing in lives. They are also so giving, material possessions mean nothing to them. I have two great examples of this: 1) One of the girls on the trip commented on how she liked her host mom's necklace and she took it off her neck and gave it to her. She didn't think twice about it. 2) one of the girls asked for seconds and the pastor took one of the two tacos and handed it to her. When she realized what was going on she said "Oh no, i couldn't take your dinner" and he said "God gave me the gift of food and i want you to have this". She already had plenty but there was no way she was going to talk him out of it.

I am back now. Not really sure where to go from here. My heart is in Mexico and wants to be relational and to have time for people and to give up my love of material possessions. However my body is here trying to catch up on homework, seeing friends and ministries. I hope to bring some of the lessons back from Mexico and apply it here but for now i'm going to seek what God wants me to do here and try to rest it up.

Oh back to God tearing down walls...through this experience God revealed to me that he wants me to do missions. I don't know when or how but after i student teach he wants me to go into educational missions. I am so excited because i love to travel and want to do missions so badly but wanted it to be his calling on my life and not my own.

There are my scattered thoughts. still processing.
Kris

optmism...

The last few weeks have been long, hard and stretching. I have stressed out a lot, sick and slept through an alarm clock because my body is just tired and weak. This weekend i had some time to soul search and dropped two things off my plate. Well technically i dropped one and the other will be over once i get back from break. However after break i'll have some more free time that should help relieve some. Anyways the purpose of this was to share some insight into some amazing things happening in my life. I am so excited to serve in Mexico. Whenever life seems to run me down serving others is a great alternative for me. Pushing aside myself and serving another always helps me to get over myself long enough to help someone else and it gives me the feeling as if i'm doing something of value. I got a taste of this last Thursday when my apartment was filled with transfers who i served pancakes to. To serve them through the infamous pancake event got me so pumped for serving and working in Mexico. I am so excited. This is one of my highlights. I was looking through my Mexico journal from last year and got so excited when remembering what was going on a year ago. I have grown so much from that trip and am so excited to see the growth that will occur this time.

I have had two amazing things happen in the last few days and these are God telling me that he hears my crys and is carrying me during these stressful and times i am too weak to walk.

1. I nearly bawled when i heard this. My mom called and we were catching up and i asked how my little brother is. He's 12 and is like a child to me, I babysit him most of his life, coached him through hard times, etc. Well she said he's been going to church twice a week and is really excited about God and reading his bible everyday. I cannot tell you how this made me feel. I'm feeling tears coming as i write this now, just to think that someone else in my family is falling in love with Jesus is something i've been praying for since i became a Christian at 13.

2. I was in a meeting today with School of Education due to concerns for my student teaching semester. I won't go into details but i went in to the meeting fully prepared for my rough classes and that i'll be professional and successful during student teaching. I didn't have to. They told me they wanted me to be aware of their concerns and that if it doesn't work i'd have to come back to SAU. Then the one said, "Kristeen we want you to know that your semester in Japan is one of the main reasons we know you can do this. That semester you took three online classes and were extremely successful. That and your adding a psychology major when you didn't need to speaks volumes and that is why your petitions have been granted." I had a HUGE WEIGHT lifted from my shoulders. I often get frustrated and think Why am i still here, why is it taking so much longer than others. God, why did you call me to Japan and then add a minor and end up here two years longer. I got my answer...it was what i needed for God to take me to the next stage in life.

GOD IS GOOD!
Wish i could say that i am fine and everything is looking up. Things are a bit low right now but i know there is a hill coming soon. Life is a roller coaster but my goal is to get to the end and say, "What a ride!"

my day started off feeling like this:



If you do not know the story i beg you to listen to it. It is one of my favorite childrens books. So great. Here's the deal with being in a bad mood. As someone who is optimistic and usually happy i feel as though there is something wrong with me when i'm not in a good mood. I feel as though a part of me is missing but remind myself that even saints have their off days. I tend to be rude to people who cannot take a hint and see that I'm not having a good day and i feel like crap being mean but am only like that on my off days.

Things got better. My roommate and Katie cheered me up at lunch but once i got back to my apartment seeing my awaiting pile of homework, the pile of dishes and having an aching ear my mood just stayed for awhile. Later on when the dishes were done and the homework pile was dented a little Nate got online and made me laugh and that was much needed. I am saying "sayonara" to this day and feeling hopeful for tomorrow and so excited for this weekend when i get a pre-break and go to Kalamazoo for the weekend.

Oh and in ONE WEEK i head out to Mexico. I am itching to travel and am so sick of papers and discussions. I want to serve (and teach) and am tired of talking about it, i dont enjoy simply talking about something i enjoy the action after. I am so ready for this semester to be over and to be a college graduate and free from SAU :0)
However until then i'll enjoy going to Mexico and serving my Lord there!

some thoughts

I have been doing a lot of thinking about the future, this summer, graduation. My heart stirs for something more than Spring Arbor. More than books, papers, iPods and dare i say it *gasp* facebook. I have been praying about opportunities out there to teach internationally. There is something in my soul that loves to serve other in other countries. Many see me as anti-american and maybe i am, not sure. I do laugh when i hear people referring to America as the greatest country in the world and like to ask them if they have visited other countries to base such a large statement on. I've only been in two countries other than America and i sorely disagree with said statement. Anyway back from the bunny trail i am hoping that God will answer some questions when i return to Mexico in thirteen days (woot woot) and i am so excited to serve his people down there. I dont know how explain it but there is something spirtually and fulfilling serving those you cannot speak to because you truly see that love is not spoken in English, it has no language barrier. How cool is that? Seriously everyone should experience that! I was not built to be comfortable and stable and maybe that means i should travel the world teaching children and loving on people, i dont know.

Currently i'm reading Wild At Heart and Captivating By John (& Staci) Eldredge. For one of the small groups i'm in we are reading both and comparing them and discussing them as a group of mature Christian men and women. Tomorrow is the first time we'll be sharing and meeting. I am excited. In reading the books i find it somewhat disturbing that i identify with the guys...not to say i don't dream of my wedding or that that prince will persue me. However i much rather venture into the woods or to some exotic place...maybe that's me being "not your average girl" i don't know.

So Monday morning ends my facebook fast. I was going to fast lunches but the day after got the worst cold i've had in a long time and decided that being sick and depriving myself of nutrition probably wasn't all that wise. I find that 99% of my e-mails are from facebook. I found myself going there in habit of checking e-mails but never signed in. I have prayed a lot and each time i got an email from facebook or thought about facebook. I can't say i have missed facebook, it was almost one less thing to worry about this last week. Today i was in Alltel and the guy was trying to sell a blackberry phone and he said the follow, no joke: "You can go on the internet and check your facebook, you have one don't you?" Seriously, when you say the internet facebook is the first that comes to mind, really?

Lastly i've stumbled upon Barlow Girls, not literally although that would be pretty amazing. Ha! You ever have those bands in your iTunes and it take a long to time to listen to them again, well if not it happens to me. I used to make my jr. high campers listen to a few songs about self image and lately i've found myself loving their lyrics. so great.

the end or as Strongbad says "It's Over"

fasting and praying

In 17 days i am heading to Mexico for my spring break missions trip. To be honest i haven't put much thought into the trip with my semester starting and me hitting the ground running and all. Last night we paused and discussed preparing our hearts through fasting and praying. In praying i asked not what i could give but what i should give. Not what i want to give but what i need to give. Facebook was the one that came first. Now not to say this will be easy but it can be something i give up and during my usual facebook time i would do homework and that truly isn't the purpose of a fast so to accompany my facebook fast i am also fasting lunches. Each time i think about eating or it is my lunch time i will pray and focus on my trip. It is day one of my lunch fasting and i have prayed a lot. I dont think we as Americans know what real hunger is. I know that is unwise and unhealthy to give up food in general which is why i gave up my lunches. Another reason i choose lunch is that is my social meal. I can sit in my apartment skipping dinner and work on homework and not think about it but lunch is a specific time i sit with friends and talk about life, etc. Not eating then will remind me why i'm fasting and thus give me opportunities to pray. Also when my stomach growls from hunger i can be reminded of those who don't get three meals a day and to pray for them as well.

I am excited to see what God has to show me this week through this and in preparing my heart for being served and serving in Obregon, Mexico.

I love to travel and my heart is full of so much joy, excitement yet preparing to be broken for Jesus once again while there.

Kris.

25 and content

The last few days have been so amazing. I have been so blessed by so many people. I have been reflecting over the last few days about my life: how far i've come, where i'm going...but before i go into that let me tell you how my birthday and post-birthday was.

Birthday: now if a flooded wall on facebook wasn't enough i had such a great birthday. I woke up to find a candy bar and a birthday banner in my kitchen left by the one and only roommate o mine! I recieved a bday poem on the door from Betsy and got a ton of birthday greetings on campus and during the class I am a T.A. a group of student leaders and faculty sang to me :0) Then Casey Butler got me the best gift ever, DAVID CROWDER BAND :0). I went into town before the concert and got the mP3 player and Wall-e i ordered with the giftcard dad sent me. Yea! The concert was oh so amazing. The first hour or the doors being openend i worked the concession stand for Mexico and had tons of people stop by to say happy birthday. After the sweet awesome concert I headed back to my apartment to find five birthday voicemails on my phone and had ten people over for cake. No joke it was fun and crazy. After stumbling upon Carpenter and other GR "friends" lies that became the joke and conversation peice all night. After a few had left Mel stopped by and handed me a hand made card that had Crowder's signature in it with a birthday message to me. So cool. Everyone went home and i did dishes and crashed. Oh and in between all these great time i got an email that said there's a great possibility that i will be living at camp after i graduate. There a few details to work out but it sounds promosing and i am so excited to see how that pans out.

Post-Birthday: I had a three girls who used to live on Alpha 2 with me yesterday stop by with pizza, cheesy bread, salad and even carrots and we had another birthday celebration. We played scum (they called it jerk) and it was a blast. We laughed, ate, played card...so great.

Reflections: I have come a long way in 25 years. I have come to know the love of Christ and have become his servant instead of thinking that i am here to be served i know i am here to serve. I have authentic and genuine friends. People who love and will be there for me regardless of what life throws my way. I have been given the gift of a college education and the passion and love for teaching children most are annnoyed with. I have also been a part of a christian community. Before SAU the only christians i knew were from church. I know what it looks like to live your faith daily and what to strive to become one day. I have worked at camp where i have such great friends who are in love with Jesus and understand me better than most people in my life.

I am so excited to see where God takes me. Take a look at the subject it's true. I am content and 25. One of my friends was picking on me today and was like "how are you 25 and single?" I laughed and said "By God's grace." It's no mistake that i'm single. God has been doing work in me so that i can bless my future relationship in using all that i've gained in my past and even lately in my life. I am happy with life and cannot wait to see what's around the corner.

Kris

short and sweet

I am dang tired for Monday is rediculously long this semester so i'm just gonna say something:

I am turning 25 in two days and i have to say that i feel blessed. God has given me so much and taught me so much. I am content and more in love with Christ then ever before. I am truly and authentically happy where i am. Completely content with where God has me right now.

God is good and he has blessed with with fantastic friends like you. I love you.

single, birthday and weekend!

Single but not diseased
So lately i have been getting so much pressure to date or dish on who i like. Okay so i realize that Wookie's birthday is this weekend which also happens to be national Hallmark buy-someone-you-love-something-because-we-say-so (aka Valentines Day). I get that this is supposed to be a time to talk about your feelings and whatever. I am tired of defending myself for being single. It's not a disease, chronic or otherwise, i don't have the symptoms for loneliness, depression or feeling all alone. For the very first time i am extremely happy with who i am. I say this not to say i am planning on being a singleton forever just to say that i am happy where i am. I'm in a good place. If something were to happen where i would start a relationship/courtship (or whatever you kids are calling it now days) i would be okay with that. I am content and content at the idea of change. Sound confusing but it's true.

Birthdays
So i am turning 25 in six days or something like that. I am excited not only for my birthday but that i get to see David Crowder and hang out with some friends :0). Yea, I'm pretty dang excited about that. I'm not one who is huge into my birthday because I'm not one for the spotlight i like things like back stage, copier room and sound board where you don't get the spotlight yet you serve. That's me. I'm not sit in the middle of the stage and talk you pretty much guarantee that most of the day on my birthday I'll be red in face from embarrassment. When i used to eat in the dc my friends would bring in a cake and the whole place would sing to me and my friends would comment every year on what shade of pink I'd be. true story.

El Weekend
This weekend i am a busy bee which is appropriate with the semester i've been in. I actually am about three days ahead just so i can stay afloat next week. Before i go into my weekend let me just say that i run from Monday at 10am until Tuesday at 8:30pm i have about four hours where i do homework for the next days. It's crazy. Anyways back to this weekend. Tonight I'm going to Kalamazoo with Bekah. We are going to a h.s. basketball game and then tomorrow bridesmaid shopping and then looking at floral shops i am so excited. I love going home with her! Then tommorrow night after our return to SAU (Wookie's birthday...wooot) Michelle, Laura, hopefully Wookie and myself will get together and celebrate our birthdays! We tend to get together and celebrate Wook and my birthday all in one night. It's always a good time. I'm excited to see them :0) I haven't had much time for friends lately unless it's on the computer but it's just not the same!

ok well i need to finish packing so i can leave!
Have a great weekend friends!

update time i suppose...

The last week has been a blurr a long exhausting blurr. I hope it's not a preview of what my last semester will be like only time will tell! My worst day is Monday so don't be too shocked if i am on long enough to check e-mail on that day! I have four classes but they are the last classes in my major and minors so they are tedious and will be keeping me busy up until Graduation! I'm also a t.a. (for a class which is for the future student leaders), am involved in three small groups and on a spring break mission team. It was nice knowing you...just kidding. Let's just say that being bored is a thing of the past! I feel like i'm constantly running somewhere so when i get back to the apartment and have to open those books all i want to do is crash on my bed. However i have set some goals for myself this semester to keep me disciplined and those are going well so far. I get up earlier than i have to and give God at least the first half hour of my day although most days it ends up being an hour :0) I am enjoying it a lot.

Well this weekend was adventerous and a good time. Friday Bekah and I went into town for some much needed groceries and then later that night we had roommie family feud night. It was a great time :) We download a free trial of family feud and we get pretty into it. it's a great time. Then we chat it up while watching tv online or tv on dvd :):):)

On Saturday we traveled to a wedding and got so lost that we missed the ceremony but made it just in time for the reception. It was a bit of a drag to miss the ceremony but she understood. I saw pictures and they did a foot washing ceremony where they both participated and that's something i think is so incredible. The conversation in the car was interesting and most of the time i was debating with the only boy present about my beliefs with male initiation. He thinks i need to be more obvious to boys and i disagreed openly. It was interesting, to say the least.

i thought this was hilarious. enjoy please.

well i hope life is well and know that although i am busy i do love you.
all of you.
even you.
Kris

my soapbox

I am going to go on a soapbox and you can agree, disagree, or discontinue reading or whatever but this is something that truly bothers me beyond unorganized teachers.

Today we had a chapel speaker. I usually cut them a break because it's hard to speak in front of at least 1,000 students: i get nervous in front of a peer group of 20 or so. However today i was just ticked right off. The speaker came up and starting talking about his struggles growing up and being in college. Then he made statements of blindness such as "People at my college struggled with drugs and alcohol but i know that isn't an area of concern on this campus" and "I can see that everyone just loves Jesus here". Okay let's take one statement at a time.

*Stepping onto the soapbox*
People at SAU don't have a problem with drugs or alcohol
Okay let's remind ourselves of Genesis and how we are a fallen world. Christian or not we have sinners at our school. We are not safe from addiction and cycles of way wrong choice. We've had students in abusive relationships, drinking problems, drug addictions, issues in pornography. I do understand that it's a Christian institution but what Christian institution doesn't have sinners who go there. One things that i love about my school is that we recognize there are struggling students. We have things put in place to help people with addictions however to dismiss it and to pretend like our struggles are only time management and to find a spouse is absolutely rediculous.

Everyone loves Jesus here
Okay once again we are a Christian school and yes i get that. First of all there is a difference between loving Jesus and being a Christian. It's sad but true. I was a Christian for five years before i understood what it meant to truly love Jesus and to be in love with him enough to change my life to what he wanted for me. It was difficult, lonely and emotionally wearing but i would do it all over again because i know that in the long run God is faithful and knows what's best for me. Secondly not everyone comes here because they love Jesus and def. most of the people in chapel wouldn't go if they didn't have to.

*stepping off soap box*

I absolutely love chapel but if it were a choice i would probably be sitting in my room typing up papers, reading chapters or heck sleeping! I'm being honest, i love chapel and through it God has taught me the importance of having a mind of your own and really diving into the scriptures the speaker gives out and seeing for yourself. I am blessed by chapel, truly.

Those are my thoughts. Feel free to disagree...
Kris

spring semester

So today struck an odd feeling in me. I am four classes away from graduation. weird. My morning class was canceled so i got the opportunity to hang out with Don, Nate and D Wag who came to promote the camp. At lunch i had to leave to a class I'm a teacher aide for and was saying goodbye to the guys and Don asked when we'd see each other again. Then D Wag says, "maybe we'll get to come to your graduation." At that moment it hit me that this was my last semester at S.A.U. :0). It's weird to think that after a few months I'll be done here and will be moving onto student teaching! I love this place but am so excited to graduate and start the next part of my life.

J term is over and that is a sad day because it was restful and i miss it already :0).

camp and stuff

So i am exhausted and about to lay down again but i thought i'd update you on life happenings.

Last Undergraduate Semster:
Spring is starting soon and i am excited to embark on my last semester as an undergrad but at the same time i absolutely love my free time and pleasure reading. I've been reading a lot about purposeful marriage and it's really gotten my heart opened to the idea of somewhere down the road being married. I'm not saying in a few months but years down the road. I'm a complicated being, after all!


The Future *dun dun dun dun*
I had my student teacher interview and we are looking for placements in the Cadillac area. If you are unaware Cadillac is where camp is located. I have been talking to my director about my homelife and how i need to be on my own and going home isn't an option. He said that if i got placed in the area for student teaching that we'd figure out housing. In my interview he said it's be a stretch but we'd see what we can do! woo hoo! If not i'll be in spring arbor living with someone, anyone who will take in a stray ;0). I'm excited to see where God takes me. I'm even more excited to be living somewhere where close by (either camp or school) I have a famiy of believers there.


My name's Kris and I'm addicted to CAMP
This weekend i went to camp to volunteer for a retreat. Initially i wasn't planning on going but Casey mentioned going and i asked if i could get a ride and it worked out. I am so glad i went. It was a mini reunion with around 10 summer staff, not to mention another 10 or so who were campers and another 5 who hung out during the day. Friday night i stayed up until 3 am talking to Lauren about home and then Saturday went to bed at 3:30am cause i was hanging with the guys and talking about what it would be like if Jesus worked at camp. Highly entertaining conversation especially having it so late at night :0). Camp truly has become so much more than a summer hang out or job. It is a family for me. Each time i come back my boss says "Welcome Home" and i get a feeling like it truly is home for me. Even with all my years at SAU it's never felt like home but a place to be productive, i have made many friends and i love to serve here but camp is like home and i love being there.


Well sleep needs to happen, i think i finally got my fever to go down...i really need to work tomorrow as it's my last day for j term :)

Good times.


Kris