How did I get here?

This is Kris again. I don't write much lately, probably because i'm not sure that anything I have to write is worth reading...honestly. I'm sorry if you were looking for happy-go-lucky Kris because this post is from another version of her. Most people don't like when Kris isn't all smiles and positive phrases but some days it's too much work to be the girl showing her dimples. Today is one of those days. Nothing happened in particular because my moods aren't based on things which happen. Instead, it's just a feeling I cannot shake about feeling like my life is in an entirely different place. Nowhere near where I thought it would be. When you are a senior in high school they always ask you where you want to be in "ten years" ironically my answer was not "living with my dad and being a live in babysitter and housekeeper"! Hmm...why wouldn't that have been my answer? Welp, probably because at that point my dad and I exchanged emails on major holidays and birthdays. So that in itself is incredible. My answer included teaching full time and living in a one bedroom studio apartment in Chicago. If you fast forward to later on in college my answer would have included teaching, marriage and probably children. I am 28, unmarried, no children (which is good being unmarried) and work part time at a job I LOVE!!!!!!! I don't why but this time of year. You know the holidays I feel completely drained. Mostly emotionally. *not to toot my own horn* but I am a natural gift-giving person. I don't wait for December 25 for gift giving. I give all year long and a lot. However this time of the year I feel like an ATM machine. People are always taking and taking and taking but not giving anything into it. To be honest at this time I have two friends who are the only ones who call and are truly interested in how I am doing. These two are my beacons of hope lately. Hope for our culture and society. Don't get me wrong I know that it's not all about me. It's not about me at all. I just feel like I am often doing things from people and am often forgotten. Sometimes I feel like I'm absolutely forgotten and overlooked. Which is frustrating when you give and give and give. I have to say that lately I have never felt more close to my savior and best friend, Jesus. Lately it has hit me just how forgotten he has become in our culture. It pains me every time I look around and see how much hate there truly is. Also (and i know this makes me sound old) but remembering things like sitting around and playing games or playing outside as a kid. These are things i miss, that and Saturday morning cartoons! Okay I cannot end this without the optimist inside me jumps out and ends on a good note ;) In very excited news next week I will be having "The Great Mitten Adventure". This week will be filled with people that I love very much. Starting with my best friend, then filled with LOTS of family crazy and great, some college buds, possibly a ginger in there and ending with my nephew and niece! This I am very much looking forward to. It was probably confusing but thanks for reading. Kris